I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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