You just made me feel so damn special
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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