so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
