well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
