So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
