I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
