Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
