Kiss
Puke
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
