thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
