found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
