i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
