hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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