Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
