Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
