Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
