a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
