she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
