I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You made out with two different species that night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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