My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
