HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
