Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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