my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
3pm strippers are depressing
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
