So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
