There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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