I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
