I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
