Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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