I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
