he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
