So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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