i think my tv is drunk
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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