Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
