I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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