Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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