I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
