No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
