I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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