You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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