Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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