To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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