Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize