Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
