i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize