i can't believe i had my finger in that
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
