It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
