I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
