Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
