it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
