Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
