The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
