Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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