He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize