At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
someone get that fucking seahorse.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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