Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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