Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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