i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
