Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
