what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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